Evacuate
by Euregatto
Summary: "She literally tried to self-destruct in your ARMS, Renji! If that's not a sign to leave this relationship I don't know what is!" Renji x Jackie
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

_Am I dead? …It's dark. I'm sure I'm thinking, so I'm not dead? No, I'm dead, right? How would I know if I'm dead or not?_

_…Wait, there's a voice. What? What are you trying to tell me? W-Woah, I can move my hand! That is my hand, right? No, my whole body… it feels like I'm floating… and it hurts a little… only a little. Not so much pain, I'm just sore in places…_

_There's another voice. And another. Hello? Hello…?_

_Light! Look, there's light!_

Deep hazel eyes fluttered open. _I can't see anything. It's all so blurry. But… I'm not dead. No, didn't I… didn't I…? My hand… I can lift it. There's someone there. Please, hold my hand so I know I'm not alone! Yes, just like that, hold me… So gentle… yet so strong…_

"You're going to be okay."

_I know that voice. My vision's getting better… An outline. Features. Dark eyes… I know those eyes… I can't forget them. I know you! I know you! But I… don't know you. Who are you? You're so unfamiliar, yet so familiar… I know you… I know those eyes. Let me talk to you! _

"Please stay here… Don't worry, we'll fix her."

_I don't know that voice. Wait, don't let go of my hand! No, please come back!_

"Don't leave me…!" _That… that was me just now. Try again. _"Please don't… leave me…" _I'm tired now. So weak… Please, just stay with me… No, the light's fading…_

"We're loosing her!"

"No! Jackie! JACKIE! Hang on!"

_That's my name… I don't know who you are… you're the unfamiliar familiar voice… you must be the one holding my hand again… you must be the one touching my forehead and cheek. So caring, so gentle… so strong… It makes me feel safe. I'm tired now… I'm going to sleep…_

"She's slipping!"

"No! Don't loose her! JACKIE! Hold on! Jackie! JACKIE!"

_What's the matter? I'm just going to take a… quick… nap…_

"**_JACKIE!_**"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: See the blue hyperlink? You want to click it and leave me a review, because you know how reveiws make me happy and get other chapters up faster... and if you didn't know that, now you do.

Next Chapter: _Isane gestured to the chair beside Jackie's bed, "He's been sleeping there waiting for you to wake up."_


	2. Jackie: Fractured

**CHAPTER 1**

**Jackie: Fractured**

_I remember the day they found me._

_I don't remember it clearly, though—it's just a blur of bitter memories flashing like the bolt of lightning that starts the torrential downpours afterwards. Shards of pain, hate, fear, and anguish crash down around me like shattered glass. Despite the daze the pathetic whispers of vindictive memories leave me in, I can recall that single color spread across my fallen form like a thin blanket. It was all wrong—_

_Wasn't blood supposed to be_ inside_ my body?_

_There is red, lots of red. I hate that color: **red**. It splinters my world; destroys, represses and defies me. The claws of abhorrence scrape at my chest, the teeth of enmity tear at my boundaries. Those creatures around me are going to kill me… They jeer, they laugh, and I can hear them. To them I'm ugly, weak, and… and I'm angry. I'm livid and I want to escape!_

_I'm drowning. My body is suspended in water—liquid darkness—for a moment as my eyes flicker._

_There's blood… everywhere. Vermillion warmth splatters my clothes like paint. Salty tears stream down my face in rivulets. "No! Please no!" My voice is reverberating from the walls enclosing around me. It's all so vivid—all so real. No, it's just a dream… It's just a dream…_

_Crimson warmth leaks through my fingers from the limp body splayed out in my arms. I hold the form tighter, screaming, screaming, **screaming**._

_It's just a dream!_

_I'm floating in the water, staring at myself above the surface gazing back. I reach up, up, fingers just barely skimming the threshold—my hand reaches down and grabs my wrist, pulling me closer. But it's not enough, I'm too far gone. Light diffuses into darkness as I fade._

_I realize I'm going to drown._

_And you're going to die._

_IT'S JUST A DREAM!_

_"**NOOOOOOO**!"_

My first reaction was to scream—loud, in hopes I would realize I was awake—until my cries expelled the darkness. The sad thing was I had an affinity for waking up like this, which had started to grate on the Xcution's nerves after a while. But this time it was different… My body felt shredded; coated in a fiery ice that tore at my flesh like acid. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt so much…

_Make it stop make it stop make it stop—_

"Easy, easy!" Arms enclosed around the small of my back, "No one's going to hurt you! Ssh, stop screaming, ssh…"

I had no forbearance for physical contact—the Xcution knew better than anyone that I was impossible to get close to. You can't touch me and I can't trust you; there's a rift in my heart, my body is tainted. Yet, this person… he felt safe. I haven't felt safe in a long time, something which I had so vehemently denied for the longest time.

Without even realizing it I had stopped screaming; my feeble wails ebbed into sobs as I hid my tear-streaked face in the crook of his neck, my hands hooking the twice-stitched hems of his shirt. His voice was a gentle whisper in my ear, "I'm here… No one's going to hurt you…"

"Lieutenant!"

"Renji!"

The realization that I had absolutely no idea where I was frightened me—those voices were so unfamiliar—but I only held him tighter. _So strong… so gentle… _In turn his grasp on me tensed. _So strong… so gentle…_

"We heard screaming! Is she alright?" A foreign hand touched my shoulder.

"She's fine, just scared," he supplied, hands falling away to my upper arms. I whimpered at the loss of contact. "Jackie, look at me…" I dared to open my tear-glazed eyes to meet the gaze of three others; the man, Renji, who I sacrificed myself for, the woman with lavender hair, and the girl with electric purple voids.

Renji's hair was _red_. The same color it had been when I first saw him, much to my dismay.

An inherent panic boiled upwards from deep within the cavern of my chest. _No, _I told myself, _there's nothing to fear… _Slowly, the thin haze fogging my mind scattered. _Remember what Ginjou taught you… keep calm. _"Where… where am I?"

"Soul Society," Renji explained carefully as if not to alarm me, "If we had brought you to a hospital you would've died." Recalling the explosion before everything spiraled into darkness, I gazed down at the upper portion of my body not hidden beneath a sheet. He quickly took both side of my face into his palms, turning my stare up to him, "Listen, you sustained some serious burns from the blast…"

I pulled away from him to relay the damage to my own perspective—which was a bad idea. A spider web of reds and purples stretched out across the surface of my right arm from the tip of my thumb upwards, fanning outwards across my chest and sternum. My sleeveless hid the wound spanning my stomach and lower hip.

"This is Isane Kotetsu, lieutenant of the Fourth Division," Renji gestured to the lavender-haired girl beside him, "she's been taking care of your injuries while you were out…"

"Out for how long?" I asked. My question sounded clipped, maybe even irritated.

"A few days," Isane assured me, "My captain and I have been doing our best to heal your burns, which weren't as severe as we originally thought… I know you just woke up but I am going to have to ask a few questions." I rolled my eyes skyward. She took my arm and prodded the charred skin of my hand with her index finger, "Can you feel this?"

"Yes."

To my wrist. "This?"

"Yes."

To my forearm. "This?"

"No."

It turned out the only place my nerves hadn't recovered in was the area from my elbow to just above my wrist. At least I was alive—like I really appreciated _that_ at this point. Isane backed away from me, "You can be dismissed in a few hours. Despite the serious burns you should be able to fight again."

_Fight. _"Renji…" I stared at him incredulously, "Where are the others?"

He pursed his lips, "By first-name basis Ginjou, Giriko, and Tsukishima are dead. Moe, Riruka, and Yukio are back in the real world waiting for you to return."

"Dead?" I echoed, clutching at the seams of the sheet.

"Yes," the violet-eyed girl replied, "The Central was tempted to execute whoever remained-"

"Enough, Rukia," Renji shot her a warning glare. Her lips pressed into a thin line. He faced me, "Get dressed and meet me outside. I'll take you home." Before I could reply, though, he had already jumped up from my bed (I didn't even realize he was sitting there) and towed Rukia out the door with him, leaving me abandoned to Isane.

_"He cares, you know," she remarked after a beat._

_I quirked an eyebrow, "What makes you so sure?"_

_Isane gestured to the chair beside my bed, "He's been sleeping there waiting for you to wake up."_

_I didn't know whether to be extremely flattered or extremely disturbed. Wondering if he was turned off by my burns, and then giving myself a mental kick in the ass for allowing such a sporadic thought to cross my mind, I accepted my clothes from Isane as she handed them off to me. "They were left here for you by some girl named Riruka when she came to visit."_

_"Riruka was here?"_

_"Briefly, but that's enough out of me. I'll give you your privacy." _

**~ * ' * ' * ~**

Renji was leant against the wall, arms folded over his chest, when Ikkaku Madarame found him. "How's your girlfriend, Loverboy?"

"Back off," Renji hissed, "Chastise me all you want but I saved her and there's nothing you can do to change it!" They held glares for a moment. Renji broke away first when the red mark lingering on Ikkaku's forehead—left there from when he deemed it necessary to bash his skull into Moe's—throbbed ever so slightly, effectively distracting him.

Ikkaku relaxed, "Doesn't answer the question."

"She's fine," he cast his stare at the door, "I have to take her home."

"Well, don't forget the good-bye kiss," Ikkaku prodded his friend's side with his elbow, "She'll be devastated!"

"I'll snuff you."

"Because _that_ sounded threatening."

Before their conversing could escalate into an argument—and everyone knew that was subsequently followed by a fistfight and long night of drinking as friends like nothing ever happened—I emerged from the room, adjusting my shirt to cover whatever burns I could.

Renji shoved Ikkaku away from him, "Ready to go?"

Perhaps my mind hadn't processed the situation yet, but it dawned on me that I wasn't ready to leave—not that I wanted to stay either—because… "Can I talk to you about something?"

He and Ikkaku arched an eyebrow in unison. "Sure," he glanced at his bald friend, "Give us a moment." Ikkaku shrugged before taking three melodramatic steps back, turning away from us. Renji focused on me again, "What's wrong?"

"I… Can I stay a little longer?" I held my glare on the floor, "I know it sounds weird but…" _I don't have anything to return to. _In truth the only thing I knew was the Xcution—they were my world, my life, or what was left of me anyway—and with them gone, the rest would disband and I wouldn't know what to do. I would have to get a normal life; normal wasn't easy for a Fullbringer. "…I'd like to see around first, since I know I'll never be back here again."

"What a request," he tousled my hair, which was one thing I especially never let _anyone_ do—the last time Ginjou tried I kicked him so hard he was bowlegged for a week—and Renji was no exception. I almost instantly back-handed his wrist. He sighed, "You don't have to hide anything from me. I can tell you don't want to be here simply because it intrigues you."

"My reasons are my own," I responded, tone sliced to a thin edge, "Please, I don't want to go back…" _Dammit! _That wasn't supposed to slip.

He furrowed his brow, "Alright. You'll be my responsibility, but later this evening we'll return you home."

Ikkaku overhead us—although it wasn't like he was trying to ignore us—and grabbed Renji at his elbow, "Now _she_ can excuse _us_!" He dragged the red-head out of ear-shot—or so they thought, "Are you love-struck or fresh out of the asylum?"

"I'm the lieutenant. What I say goes."

His shoulders tensed, "Position means nothing to me! You wanna go, 'cause I'm all fired up!"

Renji exhaled an exasperated breath, "Cool down much? She's…" He lowered his tone, so I wasn't able to hear him.

Ikkaku's head snapped back, "FINE! Just remember to name the first kid after me!"

"Hell no! Wait, I mean—dammit get lost!"

Ikkaku waved to me and stormed off before I could return the gesture. Renji trekked over to me, "Come on, I'll show you around the division." Reluctantly I followed him outside. "This is the fourth. We come here to heal our injuries."

It was still bright outside, possibly midday. Clouds streaked the azure sky high above like vapor trails. I shuddered at the thought of Yukio collapsing it on us, but dismissed it. For the rest of the tour he told me about the academy, his captain, the Ryoka incident, and finally his childhood friend Rukia. At this rate I figured he would drone on about his tattoos, too.

He cracked a joke and I actually laughed.

Fortunately we were interrupted by a squad member, but if she was truly from the sixth I wasn't sure. She approached and bowed deeply, the proper greeting it seemed, "Lieutenant Abarai, Kuchiki-Taiichou told me to relay a message!"

Renji folded his arms again, which I noticed he does a lot, "Go ahead."

"There has been an incident in the forty-fifth Rukongai district. Five seated officers from the Seventh have not returned, so Kuchiki-Taiichou wishes for you to scout out the situation and investigate into their disappearance."

I hooked my thumbs into my pockets casually, feigning interest in the group of Shinigami passing down the street. "Thank you," Renji remarked, "I'll head over right away."

"Very good, sir!" and she was gone.

He faced me, "Well, this is cutting our tour short. Tell you what, come with me."

"Outside of Seireitei?" I asked inquiringly, "Won't your superiors be upset with that?"

"They're probably going to scold me for having you _within_ the walls, but outside they couldn't care less as long as you behave," He turned abruptly, "Come on. Let's head out so we can be back by dinner."

I frowned. _Something tells me this isn't going to end well._


	3. Renji: Equanimity

**Renji: Equanimity**

I dared to open my eyes. My ears rung, my body stung, my mind was dazed. _What happened? _The pseudo sky around me collapsed, materializing into particles of light. _What… just happened?_

Something groaned… and it certainly wasn't me.

Instinct kicked in; the woman clutched possessively in my arms had just tried to sacrifice herself to save me. _She's not dead! But she will be if you don't hurry! Get up! Save her! _I ignored the acute stab of pain from my shattered elbow. Portions of my clothing had been blasted off, my skin singed. _I've had worse, I'll be fine_…

**_But she's going to die_**_._

I refused to bear witness to the severity of her injuries. _Save her, save her! _One hand slipped under her legs—one thigh was terribly burned, I could practically smell her skin roasting—and the other hooked under her shoulders, hoisting her up to my chest bridal style. _Her sternum, her stomach, it's all burned… if I don't save her she'll die!_

Compelling myself to my feet I half-limped half-stumbled towards the figures lingering close by.

She sobbed, shuddering in my arms as her brain finally started to register the pain. My pace sped up to match the palpitations of my heart slamming into the cage of my chest. I hadn't realized I called out to Ikkaku and Zaraki until they were hovering over me on my knees.

"What the hell are you doing, Abarai?" Ikkaku snapped, "She's the enemy!"

"I don't care!" I shot back. Her deep hazel eyes fluttered open. "Look at me…!" She seemed to respond to my voice, her head tilting in my direction.

From not too far off Hitsugaya's cuffed opponent cried out, "JACKIE!"

_So that's her name. _Jackie's hand lifted suddenly, weakly rising upwards to find something to touch. Her stare was distant, blank, void of emotion. "Hold me…" She uttered breathlessly, but it didn't seem like she was aware that she was even speaking, "I'm scared…"

I took her hand into mine, "You're going to be okay." A ghost of a smile graced her lips.

Unohana, who had been assigned to follow us in the event of worse-coming-to-worst, approached me. She kneeled down to Jackie's level, "She's in critical condition from the looks of it. Help me take her back, Isane." The lone figure of her lieutenant rushed to her side. Unohana gingerly touched my shoulder, "Please stay here, Abarai. We'll fix her."

I dipped my head in submission and released my grip on the girl; her fingers clamped down on mine, "Don't leave me…!" My heart chipped. "Please don't… leave me…" Her eyes fluttered shut, perking an instant panic.

"We're loosing her!" Unohana exclaimed, enveloping Jackie's chest in a spell of mint green light.

I cupped her cheek, "No! Jackie!" No response. "JACKIE! Hang on!" My fingers skimmed her forehead before I fell back to cradling her cheek.

"She's slipping!"

"NO! Don't loose her! JACKIE! Hold on! Jackie! JACKIE!" _Nonononononono! NO! NOOO! **"JACKIE!"**_

**~ * ' * ' * ~**

_Harumaki Square, the point between the 44th and 45th Rukongai Districts_

As we passed along the ending streets of the 44th District, the blanket of people became thicker. I figured it was because there was a celebration of some sort, and lucky for me being a noble lieutenant the passersby paused long enough for me to get through.

"R-Renji…! Wait for me!"

Unfortunately I couldn't say the same for Jackie. To them she wasn't worth stopping for, so every few minutes she was swallowed up by the crowd. I hesitated, studying her with feigned disinterest as she forced her way towards me. "You may want to walk closer before I lose you."

She shrugged impassively, "Once one person cuts me off they all do."

I took her hand in mine, much to her apparent dismay, and towed her behind me. "There, problem solved."

"Renji Abarai! This is _not_ appropriate behavior for a Soul Reaper of your status!"

I rolled my eyes, effectively ignoring her as we progressed into the clearing. Finally the streets cleared… wait, cleared? _But 45th is the fourth most populated area in all of Soul Society!_ "Jackie, do you feel that?" _So where is everyone?_

She pried her hand free of my vice grip, "Now I don't."

"No, I mean… the atmosphere." I glanced around, cupping my hands to my mouth, "Hello? Is anyone here?" There was no response.

Jackie, much to my surprise, didn't seem bothered at all. "Is it usually this deserted?" Almost instantly the overwhelming weight of multiple Hollow reiatsus crashed down around us. Adjuchas of various sizes and forms dropped down from a massive Garganta in the sky, slamming onto the buildings and streets, barricading us in back-to-back. "Uh, Renji, is this a typical situation for you?"

"I'm afraid not," I answered despondently, unsheathing my Zanpakuto gradually to avoid provoking the beasts into attacking.

In turn she groaned, "That's not good." One bird-resembling Adjuchas folded its six wings back and dove straight for us, shrieking as it made its descent. "Dirty…" She activated her Fullbring and practically vanished; she appeared above the Hollow a split second later. "…Boots." Her heel connected with the creature's neck, slamming it into the ground. It faded into particles of darkness, disappearing along with the cloud of dust and debris.

The Hollows all lunged in synch. "Howl, Zabimaru!" I whipped my extending blade around in a half-circle and sliced through multiple thick-bodied creatures, ending them. Behind me I recognized the sound of shattering structures in unison with Jackie's engine revving up. I leapt onto a roof top to observe her only briefly. She caught a Hollow's punch against her chest—this Hollow was huge, mind you—and without so much as a grunt she tossed it aside.

"Impressive!" I remarked. "I didn't know you could fight like that!"

"Focus on your current fight Mr. Abarai," she shot back with playfulness etched into her tone, "But it's your own fault for ending the fight as quickly as you did—WOAH!" She leapt up over a feral-like Hollow as it slashed at her, round-house kicking it in the face with enough force to snap its neck. "Don't they know it's rude to interrupt a lady while she's speaking?"

I dodged a swipe from an advancing Hollow. A single sweep from my sword divided it and the three others nearby into uneven halves. Jackie appeared behind me, drop-kicking a medium-sized creature in the chest as it attempted to attack me from behind. We spun in perfect harmony, nailing a reptilian Hollow in the face with single punches. Its mask shattered and it faded only to be replaced by two more of its kind. A bat-like beast overhead charged for a cero.

"Throw me!" Jackie exclaimed, and without complaint I extended my arm. She leapt up onto my forearm and with a cry to exert my energy I flung her up at the Hollow just as its cero fired off. She somersaulted mid-air so her heels slammed into the blast, obliterating it without receiving so much as a scratch. With a scream of irritation she rocketed into the Hollow's chest, boots piercing layers of flesh and muscle.

It screeched and dissolved.

I swung Zabimaru skillfully again and destroyed the two Hollows lunging at me—the others finally started to back off. The monochrome red-laced sky split open to reveal a portal of pitch blackness and they receded into it, retreating into the safety of the shadows.

Jackie landed beside me, "Aw, come on! I didn't even break a sweat yet!"

My eyebrow twitched. "We're trying to keep the property damages to a minimum, Jackie."

"I don't think there can be property damages when no one's around to care… and from the looks of it"—she gestured to the virtually lifeless area around us—"it's deserted. No one will know, and no one will care. Simple."

"Yeah, but I have to report this situation to my superiors; _they'll care_." I wondered what exactly went on in her head, "Speaking of which I need to-"

There was a sweet song echoing from nearby. It was soothing on the ears, placid, a mix between a flute and a violin… Jackie glanced around, "What _is_ that? It sounds like music… but nothing I've ever heard before."

My eyes were intently scanning our surroundings, "Where is it coming from?"

"No idea…" Her head snapped around, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"That scream!" She whirled around, "It came from that direction!" There was a sudden, blood-curdling cry from somewhere close by. Jackie sprinted off, "We need to help them Renji!"

"No, Jackie wait-!" but she was gone. "Dammit, fine!" I followed her to the next street over—which I hoped was just as empty as the previous—and found her… "Wh-What the hell?"…standing in the center of a massacre. Bodies littered the area, drowning in an all-too-familiar crimson liquid. "Shit, Jack… Let's get out of here!" I tapped in intercom in my ear, "This is Abarai-Fukutaiichou of the sixth division requesting back-up in the 45th District a few blocks West of Harumaki square. There's been a sudden Hollow outbreak and a massacre."

Jackie's back was to me, head slightly lowered, "Some of them are children, Renji…"

I approached her carefully in attempt not to trip on any splayed out limbs, "I know, but Hollows are heartless. They kill everything in their path." My hand lifted to her shoulder, but I hesitated, "That's how it's always been." Finally I mustered up the courage to touch her; the fur that coated her body was slick with oil, but thick so it didn't rub off on my skin. She turned to me wordlessly, burying her face in the crook of my neck; her hands slipping around my waist. I awkwardly embraced her, torn between pushing her away and holding her tighter.

Then came that song again. Followed by a dry hiss. "**Well isn't this cute!**"

Jackie reeled back out of my grasp and gyrated to face the massive Hollow rising up from the sheet of bodies. It was shaped like a lizard for the most part, had ten pairs of legs and an additional, frontal pair much longer than the rest which were all shaped like scythes. Its curved head had a nasty mantis-resembling mouth that dragged over its scythe-claws, generating that unusual music almost as odd as its genetic makeup.

"**You'll have to excuse the mess, we were particularly hungry today.**"

Jackie kicked off the ground and launched herself at it, hurtling into its claws. It deflected her easily, sending her toppling into my arms; I caught her bridal style. "Take it down a notch!" I scolded, setting her down.

"But that thing-!" She pointed accusingly to it.

"I don't care, Jackie. Don't dive into a battle so recklessly without analyzing your opponent first!" She hung her head in defeat. I passed my glare onto the Hollow, "As Lieutenant of the Sixth Division I'm going to-!"

The Hollow rubbed its scythes together, generating that music again. "**For all is well, fall asleep. Dream a dream where shadows creep. Madness loom and flowers bloom, blood-flowing rivers and chilly shivers. For all is well, fall asleep. For all is well… until you dream.**" Everything was slow. It lunged so quickly I wasn't able to react—its scythes slammed into Jackie's chest, forcing her back against the wall.

"Jackie!" I exclaimed, but my body was frozen. _Wh-what? _My legs felt heavy, plastered to the ground. My arms were limp, Zabimaru just barely clutched in my fingers.

"**You are paralyzed… Do not worry, it's only temporary. But this is just like a bad dream… watching her…**" It lifted Jackie by her collar and chucked her to the side again; she slid along the ground beside me, visibly unconscious. "**So helpless… Can't save her, can you? Maybe I'll play with her some more until she breaks.**"

"Don't hurt her!" I snapped, straining to get a single twitch out of my finger. "TOUCH HER AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU!"

"**Empty threats, Lieutenant,**" It leaned over my shoulder into my ear, "**This is a nightmare. You won't get what you want… and this certainly won't be pleasant.**" One scythe reached over to Jackie, sliding along her cheek harmlessly, "**She's so beautiful; I should take her apart, piece by piece, and let you observe.**" It lugged over to her, flipping her onto her back, "**I'll start with the right arm. No, her right hand; make this slow. Maybe she'll even bleed to death before I go for her legs.**"

"NO!" I felt my wrist twinge. "LEAVE HER ALONE!"

_I won't lose her! I won't lose her! I won't I won't I won't I won't I refuse-!_

"**The eyes. She won't need those."**

_NONONONONO! _"JACKIE!"

Suddenly a sakura petal fluttered past my face and drifted towards the oblivious Hollow. "Scatter…" The wave of pink flooded over the Hollow, shredding it apart, "Senbonzakura."

As if through a sudden connection my limbs tore free—the next thing I knew I was lifting Jackie into my arms, burying my face in her hair, "You'll be alright. You'll be alright…" My mind was starting to daze, though, vision blurring in and out.

Byakuya approached me, "Abarai, what happened here?"

Everything suddenly went…

_"Abarai?"_

…black.

**~ * ' * ' * ~**

I stirred; the darkness scattered from my vision like shadows in the sunlight, forming a ceiling… and then Rukia's concerned expression. "R-Rukia?"

"Renji!" She exhaled a sigh of relief, "Glad you're awake finally."

A dozen thoughts lingered in the back of my mind as I strained to remember what had happened. A massacre… a hollow outbreak… that one hollow… Jackie… _Oh. _"Where's Jackie?"

"She's fine," Rukia assured me, helping me sit up, "Take it easy, you're still weak from that Hollow's song."

Across the room from me—my room—Jackie was resting on the couch, her chest moving in steady rhythm to her shallow breaths. I caught Rukia's gaze, "Why are we in my room?"

"You sustained no injuries, and the fourth was already crowded from all the squads who had been hurt during the Hollow outbreak in the 33rd district," she frowned, "so Nii-sama and I brought you two here. The odd Hollow appearances are being investigated into; Nii-sama would like a report on the 45th massacre once you're done… 'napping'." She quoted with her fingers.

I rolled my eyes skyward, "Of course. Nothing ever pleases the captain…"

Rukia glanced over her shoulder, "Speaking of which I need to oversee the temporary sealing of the Sekaimon. I'll see you later. Good night, Renji."

"Later."

When her footsteps faded away I crossed over to the opposite end of the room and lifted Jackie into my arms. She was the one who took the beating, not me, so the least I could do was make her comfortable… and I noticed Rukia had removed her clothes and replaced them with a standard white kimono.

I laid her down on my bed, tucking the sheet up under her chin. _Hopefully she doesn't conclude that I was the one who dressed her… I would like to keep my manhood, thank you._

Sighing to myself, I flopped down on the couch and fell into a deep sleep.


	4. Jackie: Aversion

**Chapter 3**

**Jackie: Aversion**

_I'm drowning again. My body is suspended, floating upwards towards the sky but sinking downwards towards the abyss._

_I'm staring at myself above the surface gazing back. It's pathetic, really, watching myself become engulfed by the darkness that contemned my existence but averted who I was to become. I've been here before… Wait, it's not me up there. It's a familiar face, yes, but I can't seem to recall. It doesn't feel like me, the one who is staring down. I reach up, up, fingers just barely skimming the threshold—the other person's hand reaches down and grabs my wrist, pulling me closer. Still it's not enough, I'm too far gone. I'm always too far gone._

_I realize I'm going to drown._

_I open my mouth to scream—I can't breathe! I can't breathe! Help me! PLEASE!_

_The grip on my wrist is loosening. No, don't drop me! Please, I don't want to die! Don't let me go! DON'T LET ME GO! Claws from deep within the abyss below stretch for me, tearing—shredding—wanting—PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO!_

_I feel myself start to descend._

**_DON'T LET ME GO!_**

I awoke so abruptly I nearly catapulted out of the bed I was just previously splayed out on. My breaths came shallowly, quickly, my fingers clutched at my shirt just above my heart—_just a dream, just a dream… calm, calm… It was just a dream…_ Early morning sunlight streamed through the windows and danced across the sheets almost melodramatically, allowing warmth to seep into the offset white sheets.

I blinked the weariness from my eyes and studied my surroundings: a stranger's room; I had never seen it before. And my clothes were different from my usual wear—a white robe of some sort… a kimono I believe it was called?

_That's dandy. Just a typical day in the messed up life of Jackie Tristan_.

Beside the bed I located my boots—there was a note taped to my left one. I reluctantly read the note aloud to myself, "Jackie, your clothes are on the dresser. I'll be back around noon, so try not to get into any trouble. Renji." I rolled my eyes—great, so I was sleeping in Renji's quarters?—found my clothes with ease, and dressed.

As I buttoned my shirt an obnoxious pounding erupted from the door, followed by a familiar voice. "Yo, Abarai! Helloooo?" _Knock knock knock. _"ABARAI!" _WHAM WHAM WHAM. _"YOU IN THERE?"

_Ikkaku,_ I told myself, remembering the sparkly-bald-headed man from before. I strode over to the door—which I was starting to have pity on—and casually slid it open. The flabbergasted expression on his face was absolutely _priceless_; I almost smirked. "Good morning, Madarame. Renji isn't here right now, but I'll _gladly_ take a message."

Ikkaku's jaw almost snapped off. "H-Hi, Jackie… Didn't expect to see you here… in Abarai's room more-over… But uh, don't worry about it, he's probably down at his office already."

"Office?" I mused, leaning against the doorframe, "So he's working today?"

"As he does most days…" Ikkaku was still thrown off by my presence. "Do you… uh… want to come with me to see him? I'm sure you'll get bored being here by yourself."

I stepped up to him and he reacted as I expected—he only stepped back. "Sure," I closed the door with my foot, "I wasn't doing anything anyway."

Swallowing the dry lump in his throat he instructed that I tail him over to the opposite end of the sixth division grounds—past the Kuchiki Manor, as pointed out by him, and into the main office building. A few halls later Ikkaku slammed open the door, startling Renji poised at his desk in the center of the rather boring room.

"Yo!"

Renji yelped and shot up out of his seat. "I-Ikkaku! Oh, Jackie! You're awake! What's… uh… up?"

"The sky," I dead-panned.

Ikkaku rolled his eyes, "I wanted to ask you if you would like to go drinking tonight… and then she answered when I knocked on your door this morning."

"More like bashed," I uttered under my breath, audible enough for him to hear but effectively ignore.

Renji cleared his throat, "I need to talk to Jackie alone for a moment… could you step out please?"

Ikkaku was taken-aback for the second time this morning, "Fine. Just remember to use protection."

"OUT!"

"So pushy! I'm going, see? _GOING_." Ikkaku winked to me before slamming the door shut; his footsteps faded down the hall before Renji offered me to sit in the chair on the opposite end of his desk. We were quiet for a moment, the silence disrupted only by the ticking of the clock suspended on the blandly-colored wall.

"You were knocked unconscious yesterday," he said finally, taking a seat, "Well, we both were. Kuchiki-Taiichou saved us just in time. I had to write a report about the massacre and Hollow outbreak."

"So why was I in your bed? Shouldn't I have been in the fourth division or something?"

"Well, you had no injuries and I couldn't find you a room with anyone given how late it was when I came around…" He sighed, "So I put you in my room and slept on the couch. I wanted to send you home but unfortunately in order to keep our passage from here to the Material World safe we won't be able to open the Sekaimon for a while." I blinked. "The… uh… door that opens when we arrive and leave? Never mind. Basically that means you'll be stuck here for a while until we can fix this issue."

"I should have left yesterday, huh?"

"Yeah." Renji folded his hands over his desk, "In light of this… situation you have permission to stay here but under my supervision." He stood and crept over to the door, "Speaking of supervision why are you guys spying?" He slammed open the division and multiple eavesdropping Shinigami toppled in—Ikkaku being one of them. "I'm trying to have a conversation!"

"Don't kill the mood, Renji!" The red-haired woman with the ample bosom whined, jumping to her feet.

"Ikkaku said you were in your office with the human woman," A thin, pretty man mentioned placidly, brushing imaginary dust from his sleeve.

"We just wanted to know what you were discussing!" Rukia declared, "Ikkaku told us you want to have 'private conversations' with the woman…"

If looks could kill Renji would have murdered all of them, "Ikkaku-sempai I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass you'll taste the material of my sock for a week! Is it really _this_ hard to have a normal conversation in _private_?"

"With her?" The red-head snatched my wrist and dragged me over to their group, "Look at her she's practically a model!"

I opened my mouth to protest but Pretty Boy cut me off, "I dare say she could do more with her hair though… maybe if it wasn't so straight. And those lips? Very full; dark red would look lovely on you! Or perhaps a pale pink?"

"And her chest," The woman frowned, "She could use some more lift. The exposure is well planned though, distracting without stealing all the attention from the rest of her figure. I didn't even notice those scars until just now."

I glanced at Renji for help—or a full-blown rescue. He sighed, "I'm sorry about them. The male-of-questionable-sexuality is Yumichika and the top-heavy woman is Rangiku." He received glares scary enough to give Riruka nightmares. "And you've obviously met Rukia of course."

Rangiku grabbed a fistful of Renji's hair and stuffed his face into her breasts, suffocating him, "I'll show you top-heavy!"

Yumichika flipped his hair over his shoulder, "You should respect your friends, Renji! My word!" He quirked a feathered eyebrow at me, "But you are the very definition of beauty my dear. Renji is lucky to have you."

I finally registered the situation—"WE ARE _NOT_ TOGETHER."

Rangiku snorted, releasing Renji from her choke-hold, "Wait, you're not? But Ikkaku said-!"

"I said nothing of the sort!" He defended, "I told you he constantly wants to have private conversations with her! You three are the ones who twisted my words!"

"You _totally _implicated a romantic relationship," Rukia remarked, crossing her arms, "But there's only one way to know for sure! Renji"—he glared at her coldly—"what is Jackie's favorite color and flower? If you _are_ together you'll know."

"That's stupid," Renji hissed, "I don't know her favorite color or flower!" The group was silent, waiting expectantly. "…Ugh… I dunno, green and… tiger lilies?"

Rukia flipped out a folder, "According to her file her favorite color_ isn't _green its orange and her favorite flower isn't a tiger lily it's a jasmine!"

Renji was taken aback, "What? That can't be the right file! It stated that her favorite color is a lavender-purple and her favorite flower is a lilac!" All was quiet for a moment. "Shit, I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

My eyebrow twitched, "How the hell did you get all that information on me?"

"Renji has a girlfriend!" Rukia and Rangiku sang in chorus, "Renji has a girlfriend!"

"WE ARE NOT TOGETHER!" We snapped back in unison.

Ikkaku barked a laugh, "When can we expect little Abarai's to be running around?"

For some reason I blushed at this comment. Renji, however, had finally had enough—he forced all of them around and shoved them out the door, "GET LOST BEFORE I ACTIVATE BAN KAI! And don't come back unless you're ready to be mature!"

Yumichika huffed, "Way to be cruel, Abarai."

Rangiku frowned, "Yeah, we're only teasing!"

Renji slammed the door in their faces, turning sharply back to me. "Feel free to kick them if deemed necessary." There was a knock. Renji slid open the divider—"WHAT?"—but instantly regretted it and bowed deeply, "Oh, Kuchiki-Taiichou! Good morning! I thought you were Rukia and—you know what, never mind."

Kuchiki waltzed past him, "Good day to you too, Abarai. It seems the woman is awake and feeling much better."

I inclined my head, "G-Good morning…"

He collected some papers from Renji's desk, "I came to pick up these sheets. Are they all signed?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well then." The captain stepped up to me. We stared at each other for a moment—his gaze was void of emotion, inciting my anger, "You may not be aware of this, but it is rude to make eye contact with a nobleman such as myself."

"No offense," I folded my arms over my chest stubbornly, "but where I come from we spit at the feet of the rich or spoiled because they don't know what it's like to have nothing or struggle to keep a roof over their heads."

Renji glanced at me, "You came from the slums, too, huh?"

I shrugged impassively, "Yep. I was taken in by Ginjou at an early age, at least, right after…" My voice faltered as I contemplated admitting the truth to them or not, "After my family was murdered."

Kuchiki faced the door, "Losing someone you care about most hurts." He strode gracefully away but paused at the threshold of the office.

Renji took his place beside me; his arms gestured out towards me—I didn't even know how to react to _that_—and his gaze was sympathetic: _I understand. _Silently I slipped my arms around his waist, cheeks boiling cerise as he held me close. Embarrassed at the sudden contact I hid my face in his shoulder. He smelled like… Well, I wasn't quite sure at the moment but it'll come to me one day.

Kuchiki was hesitating, almost as if debating with his conscience over joining in or just walking away. Finally he said, "Abarai, you're going to be late for the training session with the new division members."

"I COMPLETELY FORGOT!" Renji exclaimed, rushing past him. A split second later he returned, grabbed my wrist, "Come with me!" and towed me back out the door.

Kuchiki sighed to himself, "And so the downhill spiral to disaster begins…"


	5. Renji: Empathy

**Chapter 4**

**Renji: Empathy**

Jackie is a ticking time bomb. I just figured that was a good note for later.

Seventeen months. I had spent almost a full year and a half training—through blood and sweat but no tears because a real man doesn't cry (according to Ikkaku)—so that when Aizen tried to take over again I would be more capable of protecting my friends. But when I met Jackie, I felt weak again.

And thus began my downhill descent into mental instability.

Not literally, though, but close enough. Contrary to popular belief Jackie could single-handedly give you gray hairs before your golden years. She knew _exactly_ what she was doing like she had the steps planned out on a schedule in her head, but it was stress on anyone else trying to keep up. If I had been part of the Xcution I would have probably known that she was a perfectionist. Or had OCD for fixing things until they were straight. Perfectly straight.

Or whatever the hell her problem was.

I didn't have enough time to put much thought into it at this point. In fact, the situation hadn't even crossed my mind until she decided to deal with the new division recruits—the sudden impact of her foot bulldozing over the training grounds brought me back to reality.

Jackie adjusted her hat, admiring the cataclysm a single stomp from "Dirty Boots" had created. She hadn't even revved up her engine yet. "See, you're all weak!" She gestured to the overturned trees that had been so delicately planted with love by Byakuya, "You should be doing this with a punch! Do I need to spell this out for you? HIT THE TARGET!"

The target was the sign on that felled tree in the center of the crater.

One of the thirteen members was so scared out of his wits he actually tried to run away screaming, but I caught him and dragged him back with me. "JACKIE!" I snapped, earning her attention, "I don't remember letting you destroy everything!" I set the petrified soul reaper back in his spot in line—I realized they were ordered from shortest to tallest—he subsequently passed out anyway.

"I have my own methods!" She announced boastfully, "I'm the one who taught Ichigo, y'know!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, "Yes, but that's _Ichigo_. He can handle the abuse! These guys are fresh out of the academy!"

She pursed her lips, "Oh. That explains _everything_."

I massaged my throbbing temples, "OK… just resist destroying the entire division, alright? Better yet, just stand over there or something!" I pointed to the unscathed part of the training ground near the entrance, but as I did Rangiku emerged from the doorway.

"Renji! Jackie!" She bounced over to us. The twelve still upright recruits bowed to her, bidding her good-morning. She was so thrilled she ignored them completely, "I can't hold my excitement anymore, I simply can't! Everyone's gonna go drinking tonight!"

"Ikkaku mentioned that before," I shrugged impassively, "but I don't know if I can. I have a lot of work to catch up on…"

"Get a life you snail," the red-head hissed, "Come on, we haven't been out in like… _forever_!"

"It's been two weeks."

"Same thing!" She grabbed Jackie's wrist and pulled her over, "And if it'll make you feel better take her, too! Introduce her to everyone! We told Shuuhei and Kyoraku the story of the incident in your office before and they're going to tag along just to meet her!"

Jackie rolled her eyes skyward. "Look, I'm not going to go drinking with you. I'll just call it an early night and sleep on the couch in Renji's office."

"Please?" Rangiku slung her arms around Jackie's shoulders, although the red-head was shorter, "It'll be tons of fun! Or don't you drink?"

"I drink but-!"

"Then it's settled. Renji, come to my office around eight tomorrow night!" She whirled around, hand clamped on Jackie's wrist, "I'm borrowing her for now! See you later!" and with a quick shun-po she vanished, Jackie forced to use Bringer Light just to avoid dislocating her arm.

The recruits quirked an eyebrow at me but I simply shook my head, "It's only a night. What's the worst that can happen?" They were silent. "You're right, don't answer that. Now, onto the next lesson… and will someone wake that guy up?"

**~ * ' * ' * ~**

_8 p.m. The Following Night, Matsumoto's Office_

I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for Rangiku to finally emerge from the office she had been cooped up in for the past two days… with Jackie. "Poor girl must be ready to explode again," I mused, shifting my weight a little.

Jackie had returned last night to get some rest, but this morning when I was training the recruits with her again Rangiku popped up to borrow her… again…

Kira Izuru appeared with Hisagi Shuuhei a moment later, emerging from the shadows around the corner. "Abarai!" the ninth division lieutenant exclaimed, "Hey!"

"Hi," I replied over a sigh.

Kira frowned slightly, "What's with you?"

"Matsumoto kidnapped Jackie and now I'm stuck here waiting to get her back." They seemed to be lost in thought. "Jackie Tristan… the Fullbringer? Human woman I brought in with me?" I could practically see the light bulbs blink as they finally registered what I was saying.

"Oh, her," Hisagi acknowledged with a slight nod, "Matsumoto mentioned her after being thrown out of your office; she also said you were having 'private conversations' with that woman according to Ikkaku-san."

I clenched my fists, "Don't make me drop you."

"Bring it on, Abarai! We _both _know who's going to win this battle."

The door to Matsumoto's office slid open. Rangiku stood there with a blinding smile, "You guys are on time! I'm finally done with my paperwork! If I hadn't stolen Jackie from you I probably wouldn't have finished it in time!"

"You had Jackie help you with your work?" Kira retorted in disbelief. "Isn't that technically against the rules?"

"Don't be so uptight, Izuru!" Rangiku reached behind her and shoved Jackie out to us so abruptly I had to catch her in my arms. "We have Kuchiki-Taiichou for that! She was a big help! Now who are we waiting for? Oh, yes, Baldy and Kyoraku-Taiichou!"

I glanced down at Jackie, "She didn't talk your ear off, did she?"

Jackie stared back up at me, "That _and_ she painted my nails." She backed out of my grip only slightly so my hands sub-consciously fell to her waist. Her fingers came up, revealing a thick coating of pale pink to mask each nail, "She also tried to do my hair but it only came out as straight as before, albeit softer."

"So you really didn't do any paper work?"

"We didn't accomplish _anything_."

"Figures. That's Matsumoto for you."

"But," she tapped her chain, "I met her Captain… uhm… Hitsugaya I believe? He came in screaming about her laziness before storming out a moment later. He didn't even notice me sitting there watching the scene unfold."

"A typical day in the life of the tenth division."

Before our conversation could drone on Ikkaku arrived with Yumichika and Kyoraku. "Sorry we're late," the Captain apologized, tipping his hat, "I was checking in on Ukitake since he wasn't feeling well today… Oh-ho, who's this fine young lady you're with Abarai?"

"Jackie," she introduced herself with a slight bow, "It's very nice to meet you."

"Ah, and she's very polite," Kyoraku arched an eyebrow at me, "So this is the Fullbringer everyone's been talking about? She's even more beautiful than you mentioned, Ikkaku-san. Renji truly is a lucky guy!"

I instantly blew up in my friend's face. "WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?"

Ikkaku raised his hands defensively, "I didn't tell him anything! Everyone keeps twisting my words, dammit!"

"So you _did_ tell him something!"

"Only that you were bringing along a woman!"

"No wonder he twisted your words! You need to add minor details, you ass!"

"Like what? 'You're bringing along a woman and you plan on having babies together'?"

Jackie hooked her finger into the back of my collar, restraining me when I attempted to strangle the opposing Shinigami. "Heel, Boy. Don't let it get to you so easily." I repressed my anger, locked it away deep within the cavern of my chest, and masked my scowl with a frown.

Rangiku clapped her hands together, "Let's save the fighting for when we're totally wasted!"

Jackie leaned towards me, "I'm at a loss… so you guys fight even when you're drunk?"

I tousled her hair, which seemed to obviously irritate her (but her hair was much softer than usual… that's kinda weird for me to know now that I think about it), "Don't worry about it."

"I'm going to worry if it'll get me in trouble."

"Jack, you're not going to get in trouble for anything," I cast a glance at the others, "So, are we going or what?"

Ikkaku scoffed, "Once you're finished making wedding plans."

"…You'd better sleep with one eye open tonight."

"Bring it!"

**~ * ' * ' * ~**

_2nd Rukongai District_

At our favorite bar in the 2nd District Matsumoto and Kyoraku-Taiichou downed every bottle of alcohol within a ten-foot radius. Ikkaku and Yumichika had slunk off somewhere—not that I knew where—with Shuuhei, leaving Kira passed out in the corner. I slipped into a seat at the bar beside Jackie who seemed to be staring intently at nothing.

"Hey, you bored yet?"

She wagged her head, "Nah, I'm just thinking…"

"If you can think you haven't had enough to drink." A song started up, chords ebbing into a slower tune than before. "You wanna dance?" I offered out my hand, a slight smirk plastered on my face.

"I don't dance," she informed me, sipping her drink.

I shrugged, "Hey, neither do I."

She quirked an eyebrow, "Alright, fine. Fair enough." She slipped her hand into mine and I led her out onto the dance floor. We swung together rhythmically in synch with the music for a moment before she said, "You confuse me."

"I confuse you?"

"Yeah… you're too kind for your own good," the corner of her lips lifted into a playful smile, "Honestly, thank you."

"…For what?"

"Being so kind," She leaned her head into my shoulder, "It feels nice to finally have someone who cares for me."

I shut my eyes for a moment, trying to process this situation.

"Come with me." She didn't seem to mind being dragged out the door and down the block to a much quieter street. We leapt up onto a roof and lied down shoulder-to-shoulder; after a minute she gestured to the rising moon that sparkled brilliantly, but I promptly informed her it was the just the reflection from Ikkaku's head and pointed to the real object high overhead.

"So you obviously know a lot about me," she poked my side with her elbow, "but I don't know much about you."

"There's nothing to know," I tilted my head to get a better view of a constellation. "I grew up on the streets with my friends… after a few years I realized I qualified for theSoulAcademyand became a Soul Reaper. My captain is Rukia's brother, I once fought an Espada or two, and… uhm… lost… that's pretty much it."

She scoffed, "You're so uninteresting."

Below us I recognized the sudden voice of Ikkaku attempting to sing a song he learned from a movie in his drunken state, "_Annnd if he falls in love tonight-**HIC**-it can be assuuuuuumed_~!"

"Put a cork in it!" I snapped.

Jackie tapped my shoulder, "Renji, look! A shooting star!" A fragment of a meteor rocketed across the obsidian sky, encased in a cloak of fire. "Make a wish before it passes!"

I arched an eyebrow, "You actually believe in that?"

"Well, no… but it's still fun to try." She kicked her leg into the air to stretch out her thigh, "I've only ever seen one before… but that was years ago."

I frowned slightly, "Well, then I wish for a new captain."

She rolled her eyes, "You're not supposed to announce it, it'll just reverse the effects!"

"Great, so now my captain is going to live a full and happy life and I'll be stuck with him until he kicks the bucket? Dandy…" I glanced at her, "What do you wish for?"

She sighed, "I wish for a family…" The meteor faded into the distance, "but since making a wish on a star is nothing more than a children's story I shouldn't get my hopes up, right?"

I let a moment pass before I—being the idiot that I so obviously was—leaned over, pressed a kiss on the corner of her lips and entwined her hand with mine.

"_In short our pal is dooooooooooomed~!_ ***hic***"

"SHUT UP IKKAKU!"


	6. Jackie: Repress

**Chapter 5**

**Jackie: Repress**

_I'm here again—suspended in the dark waters, drowning, floating but sinking. That man is staring down at me, expression blank; void of emotion. I reach up, UP, fingers just barely skimming the threshold. No, wait, he's just going to let go of me again!_

_His fingers dip towards my wrist, skin brushing like colliding fires._

_He's going to let me drown again!_

_I reel my hand back… but now my body feels lighter. Yes, I'm not going to drown! I'm floating upwards towards the surface, towards the light… His hand reaches for me again, grabs my forearm—he's strong—and suddenly I'm being hauled into the open air._

_Wind fills my lungs like balloons… I fall across the hard wood, jet-black water spilling from my sputtering lips. I gaze around—there's blood… everywhere. Vermillion paint spills across the floor, splatters the walls, washes over me._

_There's a voice screaming at me—I'm the one who did this—I'm the one who did this—I'm the one who killed them because I—_

_No, no, no! Stop! It was an accident! I didn't… I wasn't there to protect them!_

_The voices get louder. Louder. LOUDER. They're shouting my name, over and over and over and over—this is all my fault—I wasn't there to protect them—louder—I can hear them clearly now—LOUDER—leave me alone! Please stop!—**LOUDER**—_

_WAKE ME UP!_

_"JACKIE!"_

**_WAKE ME UP!_**

"JACKIE!"

I sat up with a start, gasping to breathe. "Ssh, Jackie," One of Renji's hands cupped my cheek while the other gripped my at the waist, "It's alright, you just had a bad dream." I struggled against my tears, allowing his fingers to shift through my hair. His nails skimmed my scalp, relaxing me with ease, "It's alright, I'm here…"

My tear-streaked face ducked into the crook of his neck, "I-I'm sorry, it's just-!"

"Ssh," he reiterated, massaging my back, "I understand, go back to sleep. I'm here; no one's going to hurt you." He guided my head to the pillow, but to my surprise he took up the vacant spot beside me; he pulled the sheet up over my shoulders and slipped his arm around my waist, "I'll be right here… go to sleep…"

I curled against him, molding into his touch. _So strong… so gentle… so safe… _and finally, for the first time in what had been _years,_ I slept dreamlessly.

When I awoke again Renji was still at my side, the warmth of his breath rushing down the nape of my neck. I guided my hand to my eyes to shield them from the harsh morning rays trickling through the window.

It had been three days since the brief event on the roof but I hadn't really seen much of the lieutenant after that—he was busy dealing with another Hollow outbreak in the 23rd district. I spent a majority of my time with Rangiku, Ikkaku, and Rukia—at one point even Hitsugaya—doing whatever they had planned on doing that day.

Renji muttered something incoherent and rolled over onto his back; I took the opportunity to lean my lips to his ear, "Renji."

He stirred slightly, "Mm… Jackie…"

Great, he was replying in his sleep. "Wake up, Renji," I whispered, "It's morning already."

His eyebrows furrowed together, "Jackie, you… mmm… you look sexy in that nurse's uniform…" That earned him an instant slap across the face. "ITA!" He catapulted out of bed clutching at his swollen cheek, "What the hell was that for?"

I speared him with an agitated glare, "You were talking in your sleep you damn perv."

He blushed ten different shades of red, possibly out of remembering what he had been previously dreaming about, "Wh-What did I say?"

"If I tell you I'll have to slap you again."

"F-Fair enough…" He perched himself beside me on the bed, cautious so he could spring out of my reach if I tried to smack him again. "So… did you uh… did you sleep well?"

I hooked my arms around his neck, pulling him down into the bed with me, "Now that you mention it I'm still a little tired… Stay with me for a few more minutes; I'm sure you're exhausted too."

"But I have some forms to fill out," He mentioned, squirming in my grip, "If I don't get them done Byakuya will have my head…!" I stared at him like a kicked puppy. "Ugh… OK, tell you what… let me get the forms done and I'll take you out to dinner."

"Hmm… Is Abarai-Fukutaiichou asking me out on a date?"

"I'm not quite asking," he quickly caught himself, "and by date… uh… do you mean friend date or…?"

"Depends," I smirked coyly, "What do _you_ mean?"

He moved swiftly, pinning my arms beside my head, "It'll be a regular date: not quite a romantic date because according to the material world that would require wearing something very formal… but not quite a friend date because if it was I wouldn't be able to do _this_"—he slipped his hand up my shirt along my scarred stomach.

"Renji!" I exclaimed, grabbing his wrist. Despite my protest my face was on fire. "You can't just do that without warn—!" His lips hovered over mine, skin just barely brushing, his breath warming my face.

He pulled away, leaving me speechless, "I've missed you." I still couldn't think of anything to say. "I'll be back soon." With that he kissed my forehead, dressed quickly and left.

I touched my fingertips to my burning cheeks, smiling broadly. _Smooth move you dumbass! He's a Soul Reaper, you're a damn human… did you learn nothing from Ichigo's and Kugo's parents? You should have just left when you had the chance… _I frowned slightly. _Leave and go where? Riruka and Yukio probably parted ways. At this rate they won't even be living in that city anymore by the time you return. What do you have, Jackie? What do you have…?_

"Nothing but a messed up life and enemies for friends." I curled up under the sheet like a pathetic snail. "Why didn't that explosion just kill me? It would have been _so_ much easier than putting up with this."

_Maybe I should ask him to send me back home now… hopefully that sekai—whatever it was is open now. _It took me an hour before I finally gathered my wits and tossed on my clothes. I paused to examine myself in the mirror—Renji had offered me something to eat on multiple occasions but I never ate, and the results were visible—I even ignored the offer from Rangiku and Rukia—my ribs were teetering on the verge of showing.

Ignoring my collapsing framework I raced out of his room, down into the main sixth building where his office was located. _You've been too soft—don't get close—don't get close—you know what happens when you let your emotions get the better of you! _I bolted past the clusters of Shinigami who shot me curious stares.

"Renji!" I called out, flinging open his door. It was vacant. _Great, so he isn't here… _I weaved my way into a bustling crowd of division members, catching one girl by her shoulder, "Hey do you know where Ren—er, the lieutenant went?"

She furrowed her brow in thought, "Good morning Miss Tristan. Didn't you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"There was a sudden Hollow outbreak in the Rukongai 17th District. He and the Captain were called out on a short notice and won't return for the rest of the day. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

I exhaled a sigh of frustration. "No."

"Very well—I must be on my way. Take care." She bowed and disappeared down the hall. Over the course of my short period here it seemed that the entire division had become aware of my name and were capable of addressing me with a simple glance—which I assumed was by the way I dressed in comparison to them—but despite this they weren't cautious of me (not that I would blame them if they were).

Discouraged, I trekked over to the eleventh division training hall. Poised on the steps outside was a cute pink-haired girl; she swung her legs carelessly in the air, humming an off-beat tune to herself.

I approached her carefully—she was a lieutenant judging by her arm band, which intrigued me—and chirped, "Why are you out here by yourself?"

She faced me with wide, irritated eyes, "Hey, I know you! You're that lady who went _boom_!" She emphasized the remark with a gesture of her arms.

"Er… My name is Jackie; I'm a friend of Renji's. Is Ikkaku here?"

"Baldy's inside!" Almost as soon as she finished her answer the doors exploded outwards; an unconscious member smashed into the wall across the courtyard, leaving a massive crater in his wake.

From inside the hall that unforgettable voice exclaimed, "You guys are pathetic! Come on, who's next?"

I stepped through the entrance where the doors had once been, "Uhm, Mada-"

"ANYONE? NO ONE?" He aimed his wooden sword at the group of members who only reacted by shrinking back in fear, "Guess not! How the hell did you lot get recruited into this division?"

I cleared my throat, "Baldy-san…"

Ikkaku finally glared at me, his skin head reflecting the light two-fold, "Stop calling me that!"

I smirked, crossing my arms, "Oh, I'm sorry, does that bother you?"

"A whole hell of a lot. What do you want?"

"Renji's going to be gone for most of the day… yet again… entertain me."

"Why should I entertain you?" He gestured to the crowd who made an attempt to hide behind one another in fear he was going to turn around and beat them senseless, "Unless of course you want to fight. But I don't want you crying to me when you break a nail."

I scoffed, "I won't, Baldy."

"For the last freaking time stop calling me bald!" He aimed his make-shift blade at me, "I'll floor you so fast you won't even get a chance to use your Fullbring!"

"I can take you on without it!"

"That wouldn't be any fun!"

I clicked my heels against the floor, "Slovenly Armor!" My Fullbring materialized around me—I leapt up and slammed my heel into Ikkaku's forearms, knocking him back a few feet.

A sudden shadow was cast over me, shooting an ominous chill through the room, "Ah, the human woman wants a fight now does she?"

Eyes widened, I craned my head around to stare at the omnipotent eleventh division captain towering over me. Kenpachi Zaraki, the guy who had felled Giriko with a single swing, cracked his neck almost menacingly.

Ikkaku cried out to me, "RUN JACKIE!"

I leapt out of the way of Zaraki's sword as it smashed into the floor boards; Ikkaku grabbed me by my wrist and dragged me outside through the window, leading me down the road. "He's crazy!" I snapped.

"He just wants a good fight!" Ikkaku defended, pulling us into the safety of a crowd of division members. They greeted him but he merely waved them off. "He thinks at least one of your kind is capable of holding their own against him in a battle."

"I don't want to fight him," I avowed, "and I'm fairly certain even if I _could_ hold my own I still wouldn't _want_ to fight him."

"Pfft, I don't blame you."

Almost as if on cue Kenpachi dropped down in front of us, his reiatsu crashing into us in austere waves, "Where do you think you're going? I've been in the mood for a good fight and it seems no one wants to grant my wishes!"

"I'm pretty sure that's a subtle hint!" I exclaimed, racing off with Ikkaku again. Kenpachi tailed us swinging his sword like a lunatic and screaming about incoherent nonsense. "Holy shit this guy's relentless!"

"I know! Quickly, this way!" We sped down multiple roads until we reached an unfamiliar area. Ikkaku led me around in circles until we finally ducked into a bush—Zaraki, oblivious to our hiding spot, skid to a halt.

"Huh… did I lose them? What a drag."

That pink haired girl popped up on his shoulder, "They went that-a way!" She jabbed her finger in a random direction.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!"

"Great! Let's go!" He sprinted off, his figure fading into the distance.

Ikkaku and I emerged from the garden cautiously like mice; he exhaled a taut sigh of relief, "Whew, glad he's gone…" He cast a concerned stare at me, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I replied gratefully, adjusting my hat. A moment later my stomach growled. "Although famished."

"When was the last time you ate?" He questioned, but I didn't answer. "Come on, I'll get you something."

* * *

><p>"So that's the situation?" Ikkaku lifted the rice to his lips, "He's gone and you came to me hoping I'd take you to him? Desperate for him to propose huh?"<p>

"We're not together," I hissed, stuffing a sushi roll into my mouth. The last three plates of food I had ordered seemed to vanish in my black hole of a stomach, but since I neglected actually eating anything in the last few days this came as no surprise. "I wanted to ask him if that gate thing is open for passage yet because I would like to go home now."

"Aw, leaving so soon?" He mused, "Trying to be the runaway bride?"

"Har har, don't humor me. I feel like I'm getting a little too close to him for comfort…"

"Jackie," the bald man across from me pierced me with a hollow stare, "You've slept under the same roof for how long now? Who are you trying to fool?"

"Myself," I admonished, "Honestly, I'm kinda stuck in a rut. I could either stay here for what it's worth or I could go home… and well, there's nothing really there. I'm sure the Xcution is broken up; I work in a store for a living with no hope of ever having an actual career, and no real friends. You do the math."

Ikkaku rolled his eyes, "You'll be fine. Write a book, make friends, get a life. That's all."

"I can't be normal with a Fullbring," I gestured to the hat on the corner of the table then to the motor on my shoulder, "and I especially can't make friends. I'm too emotionally imbalanced for them to handle."

He snorted, "That's hilarious! You obviously have no idea who I hang out with on a regular basis. Trust me, if there was something wrong with you I wouldn't hesitate to point it out—but you're perfect just the way you are, and Renji obviously thinks so too, otherwise he would have sent you home on day one."

I frowned, "You think so?"

"If anything I'm the crazy one! My captain tries to kill me a regular basis and I'm still loyal to him!"

I laughed, "Yeah, I guess you're right!" In the kitchen plates clattered together, effectively preventing the silence from growing awkward, "You know, Renji's lucky to have friends like you. The only people I have are mentally instable or far too egotistical for their own good."

"Does that make you the sane one in that circle of peers?"

"Far from it." I finished my plate before speaking again, "So… do you think Renji's OK?"

"He'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

I spent the rest of the time listening to Ikkaku's tale about how he met Renji, then thanked him, hugged him, and left off to see what Rangiku was up to. As I turned the corner, however, I realized that I had no clue where I was.

"Ah, shit… It must have been a right back there, not a left… Or maybe it was a left and this is a right? Doesn't look it…" I glanced back and forth trying to find a Soul Reaper, but to my luck there wasn't one. "Of course there wouldn't be anyone here. Hello? Is anyone there? I'm a little lost!"

From down the street a dust cloud formed.

I squinted to see it properly. _The hell is that…? _And then a figure—no two figures, came into view as minor outlines. Then details, followed by a familiar flash of orange hair—"Ichigo?" Ichigo Kurosaki, oblivious to my presence, raced right by in an obvious rush. "K-Kurosaki!"

He skid to a halt, whirling around to face me, "Oh, Jackie! I heard you were in Soul Society! What's up?"

"Uh, nothing much… How about you?"

"I was called in to help with the weird Hollow outbreaks lately," he jogged in place, "As of right now I'm being chased by a psychopathic, blood-thirsty lunatic-!"

"Zaraki?"

"Yeah, how'd you-?"

"He chased me down too," I noticed Kenpachi was close enough so I could hear him screaming about engaging in a brawl with both of us, "Let's get going."

Hopefully Renji would be back earlier than I hoped.


End file.
